Marriage is my thing and I know when I have to
Women who reach a particular age are often asked, no, not actually asked but are interrogated repeatedly by one and all with the raised eyebrows and not that great look as when are they eventually going to get hitched!!
All young, ambitious, beautiful, aspiring women (with goals and aims firmly set in their head ) are confronted with this very standard but slightly derogatory & very personal question as “when will they be tying the knot?” Once someone asks this question, you smile and try to be respectful towards other person and wants to answer this question with dignity but deep down you feel bad, and want to somehow sidetrack the whole conversation. This is nothing alien to anyone who is hitting their mid-twenties to early thirties. Boys/Men have their own sense of dealing with it, and they make their own room for replying back with an edge. But unfortunately women no matter what position they hold in their company, how successful they are in their lives face this question, no matter she is a #GIRLBOSS in her career. Marriage is an institution in our world, and romanticising with it can shut those mouths. Ugh!!
Please note that we at Like A Diva would want all women to confront such question with grace and dignity, not feel bad about it and only get married when they think that its right time for them and when they really want to and most importantly they are sure about the person they are going to tie a knot with.
So, lets find out as why some people start asking this very personal question to you again and again and what are the main reasons as why would they ask such sort of question.
1. You are at that age (or probably crossed it)?
We loath ourselves with all “good vibes”, keeping our goals active, setting milestones, and above all at the back of mind plan our future with someone who is worthy of it. Don’t we all as young empowering adults do? If we have a sense of our career, our life, how could we forget on that very important question MARRIAGE? But yes, one day someone opens his/ her shark mouth and place a question pleasantly on your head—why are you not getting married?
You crossed that age or for that matter nearing to the deadline as claimed by the society makers. Poor you, you suddenly feel old and grey. This is harsh and definitely, you should not be dejected. Face it off, the world can ask you zillion things but shunning it with an intensity will never let it arise. Remember, the only person who is entitled to an opinion in your life is YOU.
2. When you are in a relationship
If the world's sneaking suspicion about your alleged relationship with someone comes to light, you are in a real misery. Suddenly, your family, relatives, friends think they have all the right to set you through like literally set you through. If you are in a relationship, they have all the RIGHT to ask about your thoughtful marriage. When on the other hand, you and your partner, have not reached to that stage and have all the qualms about it. A pity, but it belittles your exciting love life though.
3. When you are career-centric and ambitious
Once someone said “for women aspiration is one end, and setting her life is another”. Wow, it still hits me hard. A woman who works exceptionally well as a – Homemaker and a Provider, should be set with these unauthoritative implications? Marriage is a serious debate for young adults. When it is juggled with career, it acknowledges a difference- a difference in opinion of "once" likeminded people to "now" unlike minded people. As they say “women who take a step ahead in their career instead of settling down with a partner are considered selfish and self-indulgent”. Without entertaining any feminism, the unequal patriarchal views are just cringe. Is there anything bad, thinking about yourself first? No, tell me, does it? A grown up young woman who definitely sets her state Like A Diva, has her mind open and her wisdom in place when and with whom she needs to take over in life.
4. When you are afraid of troubled marriages around
Well, this is something to deal with all of us. The scenario is not a fair sight where you see marriages breaking up and couples are nowhere in the stride of being each other “SUPPORT”. The ones who are still HAPPILY UNMARRIED are traumatised and for them nibbling this marriage cupcake is indeed frightening. But to all of you, girls who are mature and shaping their lives their ways are STRONG enough to deal any trembling situation with their valiance. Marriage is an experience and there is no point of walking away. Doesn’t matter how it shapes- “FAB or DRAB”, we all wish to marry our person of dream living up this life to bits. We all wish for someone who could be your perfect lovable companion.
But, my question is Forget the world, Forget whispering neighbours, Forget fretful relatives, even Forget Family--- "Marriage is my thing and it's my decision as and when I have to" tie the knot. Who will be with me when I will face all the highs and lows after marriage?
The time I being a crazy star will walk on the misty sand of Maldives with my partner hand in hand to facing seclusion during my fights with my partner and sobbing. Who will be there? It will be ME facing everything. The family may come and give their warm shoulders, but all the feelings of highs and lows with a myriad of emotions will be MINE.
World give me my place; I am a woman fighting all the odds and evens in my life till now. I have fixed things for myself beautifully. When I have not succumbed to any dreadful situations all my life and backed myself, I know I will be a winner for my life. I am not against MARRIAGE, it is a soul filling thing and I look for it. But when?
When I have to...